Top 27 Humorous Quotes

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Best value Top 27 Humorous Quotes

Are you Looking for Best Humorous Quotes to engage your followers? Explore the best collection of famous picture Funny Quotes From The World’s Funniest People


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“I’m so optimistic I’d go after Moby Dick in a row boat and take the tartar sauce with me.”

– Zig Ziglar


“Some people find fault like there is a reward for it.”

– Zig Ziglar


“I stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.”

– George Burns


“Middle age is when your old classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald they don’t recognize you.”

– Bennett Cerf


“There’s one advantage to being 102. There’s no peer pressure.”

– Dennis Wolfberg


“Old age is like everything else, to make a success of it you got to start young.”

– Fred Astaire



“Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.”

– Mark Twain


“Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest.”

– Mark Twain


“Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.”

– Mark Twain


“To encourage my little kid to eat I’d sometimes say: ‘Just pretend it’s sand.”

– Unknown


“In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.”

– Mark Twain



“My doctor said I look like a million dollars—green and wrinkled.”

– Red Skelton


“They say the Japanese don’t experience menopause or hot flashes. If that’s the case, why are they the number-one fan-producing country in the world?”

– Wendy Morgan


“I take my son to McDonald’s just to watch him eat and see the numbers change.”

– Joan Rivers


“I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.”

– Johnny Carson


“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened.”

– Winston Churchill



“The haves and the have-nots can often be traced to the dids and the did-nots.”

– D. O. Flynn


“The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it’s their fault.”

– Henry Kissinger


“I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.”

– Lily Tomlin


“If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it.”

– Jonathan Winters


“Some people see the cup as half empty. Some people see the cup as half full. I see the cup as too large.”

– George Carlin


“I don’t believe in astrology—of course, that’s very typical of Leos.”

– Wendy Morgan



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Top 27 Humorous Quotes
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