Top 20 Funny Quotes

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Top 20 Funny Quotes

The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.

– Muhammed Ali.


The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

– Albert Einstein


I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

– Lily Tomlin


Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.

– Erica Mann Jong


People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.

– Zig Ziglar


I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.

– Bob Hope


By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day

– Robert Frost


Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

– Dalai Lama


I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.

– Oscar Wilde


The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

– Robert Frost


If you don’t run your own life, somebody else will.

– John Atkinson


Many of us spend half of our time wishing for things we could have if we didn’t spend half our time wishing.

– Alexander Woollcott


The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

– Arthur Clarke


Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

– Mark Twain


You grow up the day you have your first real laugh — at yourself.

– Ethel Barrymore


Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

– Tom Lehrer


Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

– Dale Carnegie


The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.

– Oscar Wilde


Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

– Jim Carrey


I was called fat the other day and I said, “Yeah, well you are ugly and I can diet.”

– Captain Insano

Top 20 Funny Quotes
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